Wait Until Your Daddy Gets Home!!!

I may be telling my age here, but I remember this television show from my younger years! However, this catchy title means something totally different for me today. This blog is for all the Mommies and Daddies who are in charge of running their households and sometimes feel under-appreciated. I can't tell you how many mothers I have talked to who are so fed up with being the "one" who does 90% of everything around the house. Some are working mothers and are some are SAHM (Stay at Home Moms). In my opinion, SAHM have it a bit harder than working moms. How so? Because their husbands feel like, "she's home all day, she should be able to handle everything." Well news flash buddy!!!! While you're sitting at your nice desk relaxing in a nice office, guess who's taking care of your children while they scream, are demanding, and do not allow their mother to get half the things done on her list on a daily basis? That's right...your wife! Therefore, to you SAHM, this is what I say: Remind your husband how much money you are saving him in DayCare by staying home, remind him that if you were working, you just may be too tired to clean anything up or deal with kids once you hit the door (like he feels often), remind him that you too could be late home from work just to give yourself a few more minutes of quiet time before you come home (that is after all, why they're often late). Remind him that if you were working you all would need a housekeeper to help with chores and laundry, that dinner would begin to look like fast food joints more occasionally. Create a schedule and post it visibly so that he is able to see what your days look like. When he doesn't pick up his clothes, start a nice pile in the corner on his side of the bed. When he doesn't take out the trash, sit the bags at the door he uses to leave every morning, when he doesn't put his dishes away, start that pile on his nightstand next to his side of the bed. It sounds harsh but sometimes you have to demand respect and demand to e heard. Actions speak louder than words.
Fo you working moms, the same holds true. You cannot do everything by yourselves. AS women, we are innately built to nurture and care for our families; if you're a nurturer on steroids like I am, you often will find yourself in overdrive! It is important to have the talk with your spouse about sharing responsibilities; teams work together to get things done. This also goes back to my last post about having the children help out as well. It's not child labor or husband abuse to ask them for assistance. A great deal of work goes into taking care of a household. I can mostly speak for myself, but I have also had these conversations with other women who share the same responsibilities as me. There are heads to comb and brush, clothes to wash, PTA meetings, volunteering at school, making lunches, cooking dinner, grocery shopping, help with homework, drop off and pick up to school, the mall, cheer, basketball and football practice or whatever sport they may be involved in, be a counselor, nurse, psychologist etc when our children and spouses need us to be, be a daughter, sister, grandmother and friend when our extended family outside the house need us. Some are active in their religious institutions, kids need bathing, trash needs taking out, dishes need doing, cars need gas often, doctors appointments... THEN...you have a full time job to work. You cannot do it alone. Therefore, some things will just have to wait until Daddy gets home. Let Daddy help with giving baths; it will allow him to have bonding time with the children. Let Daddy help with homework, let Daddy cook dinner one night a week (its the least he could do), let Daddy help with the laundry sometimes, let Daddy help with carpooling or dropping off and picking up. You're getting my point, I'm sure. As I've stated in past blogs, the family unit looks so different today than it did years ago; it takes two incomes to survive or two people to make it work. Its okay to ask your husband or significant other to help out around the house, it won't kill him, trust me!
Does this work in my house? Yes. All the time? No! Sometimes my hubby gets comfortable with me doing a lot. Does he not help at all? O course he does! I think my hubby is pretty good at helping me do a lot. Everything I mentioned above, he does it and some. BUT...(there's always a but) sometimes he will slack off and let me do most of it. What happens then? We talk about how I'm feeling and how it makes me feel when he doesn't help me out. But I want you women to listen very carefully to what I am about to say: the last talk hubby and I had (two weeks ago) he said something that made me angry at the time but later I thought about it and said how many other men feel this way. Its not often men let us into their heads to know what they're feeling but after many years of marriage, they slip up! Ha! So hubby said to me: "You don't tell me what you need done; all you have to do is ask me." During our conversation, I was so upset when he said that. My response was, "Tell you??? Tell you what to do??? You don't have to ask me to do the many things I do around here!!!" But later on, I thought about it and made complete sense. As the perfectionist I am, I have a certain way I like things done and I often do carry things out on my own, but there are times that I would like help. Maybe all I have to do is ask a little more often.So, the last couple weeks I've been "asking" for extra favors. I mean hubby did say all I have do is ask, right???
Everyone's joy is equal. I like to use that because we often sit and judge others when we shouldn't. What works in my household, may not work in yours and vice versa. But if it makes you happy, I'm happy. But do me one favor... next time your children ask for help with homework or need a ride to the mall, try saying this: "Wait till your Daddy gets home"; next time you feel overwhelmed and tired, "Wait til their Daddy get home" and ask for a little assistance. Teamwork when raising a family makes a world of difference.
Happy Parenting!!!!
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