Step Your Head Game Up Girl!

This post was requested by a friend of mine this morning. She asked me about women and why they may possibly put other women down. While I could approach this from my Psychology background and say that many women suffer some sort of traumatic experience in their adolescent years and it forever scars them, so they behave in a manner which reflects a hurt individual... I'm not!

In my opinion, it has a great deal to do with environment. How so? As individuals, we are placed in various situations and environments daily and we find ourselves adapting, so to speak. Therefore, it depends upon the situation and environment you find yourself in with a woman who has a difficult time expressing her... hmm...what's the word?... Positivity?!

If you're in a work environment, she may be attempting to climb the career ladder and she sees any fellow woman as competition. If you're in a familial environment, she could be an in-law, cousin, sister, aunt, etc who may see your role with your family and or spouse as something she may want for herself but is unsure of how to attain it. If it's in your personal circle, it could be all of the above plus a little of, why is she skinnier than me? why does she drive a better car than me?, etc. It's not a bad thing to be a little jealous of the next person, in fact, it's healthy. It makes you strive a bit more to be successful i certain areas of your life. Besides, you want people around you who do not have the same as you; it makes for boring conversations and outings if you have every single thing in common, does it not?

There is no one cookie-cutter answer for why we as women sometimes have a difficult time expressing satisfaction for our fellow "sistahs" and their accomplishments. My answer is this: GET YOUR HEAD GAME RIGHT GIRL! That works both ways, on both sides.

At times, we care too much what the next person thinks about us. While opinions count, they do not define us as an individual. If "she" thinks that "you" have it going on and can't deal with it, that's her problem. She better get her head game right. If you care what she thinks so much that it haunts you and you worry about it often, you better get your head game right.

Focus on the positive, not the negative. This is so cliche and so much more difficult to do, but with effort, it's possible. I mean, as women, we can spot a "hater" a mile away. But I don't like to refer to them as "haters". They're more like "fans in denial". They like me. They like what they see, they're just in denial that they too, can have what I have; they are in denial about their abilities. Sometimes, they just want to be a part of your world but are uncertain if they will be accepted by you.

What is the remedy? Step your head game up girl! Don't return negative for negative (easier said than done), instead, respond with kindness and be open to meeting new people. You never know how much you and your fans have in common unless you stop to sign an autograph for them!